Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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