you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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