the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
