Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize