three words: i give head
three words: not that well
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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