omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
farters have to be the big spoon...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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