I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He felt like a one man threesome
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm both gender and math confused
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
