Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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