To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
