physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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