i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
