real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
