I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
