so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
