do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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