im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
