pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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