Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
