you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
