no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
