Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
