Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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