GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
