I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
