I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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