Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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