this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
