I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
try to milk me bitch
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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