When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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