That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
