but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
