I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
