We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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