I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
