no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
