Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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