The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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