I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
