I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
