I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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