i think my tv is drunk
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
