does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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