So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
