How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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