how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
