I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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