how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
