The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
