You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
