You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
