i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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